hugs and kisses
by solecia
Summary: "Yes, I miss him. I miss him so much." — a series of shorts revolving around love and loss. Implied N/Touko and possible Cheren/Touko.
1. Hugs Are Always the Sweetest

**AN:** A project of mine. I'll be exploring relationships and what it means to love someone who's gone.

* * *

><p>Touko stares at him in disbelief, shock. She clutches her Pokeball in her hand, trembling. They'd known each other for as long as she could remember, and now everything was changing. She'd beaten Alder, and yet she'd decided she wasn't going to be the Champion. N had come and gone—her chest ached when she thought of it, but she didn't crumble to tears like she had before when no one was looking. He'd left after being used by his father, his dreams crushed, and with him went tiny kisses in the alleyway when no one was looking, fake battles to please others, hands going down her back and tears mingled with laughter. When no one was looking, they were happy. And then he left. They were still enemies, and she had acknowledged that, bitterly. And when he left, the entire world crumbled around her. But her best friend's only question had caught her completely off guard:<p>

"Do you miss him?"

She hadn't expected anyone to notice, let alone care. Her first love, gone. A tear escapes and she doesn't wipe it away, instead hiding her eyes with her bangs. "Yes, I miss him. I miss him so much." What else can she say? She's always told Cheren everything when he asked her. Almost everything, at least. But she's even more surprised when she finds his arms around her, her face in his neck as she crumbles in his strong, steady arms and cries. "It's all right, it's all right," he whispers in her ear, his glasses on the tip of his nose. N was gone and she was here. There was something wrong with that. It had been months and she hadn't been able to forget him yet.

"I want to see him again."

Cheren stiffens when he hears her say that—but he isn't surprised. She can't see him as his eyes close sadly, but he still holds her close. He wants her to be happy... that didn't mean he has to be.


	2. Fractures and Flaws

**AN:** More project update, mannnnn.

* * *

><p>When a fracture is found, all you can do is help but see it as it grows bigger and bigger until the cracks cover the entire glass. That was how Cheren saw Touko; as soon as he'd realized that he'd loved her, he realized that she was perfect. Brave, brash, beautiful Touko. She never seemed to stand down, and she was always smiling. He kind of felt like, sometimes, he couldn't stand in her aura of warmth, but he didn't mind, really. At first, just seeing her smile was enough. He still paid so much attention to her whenever he saw her, yet he never noticed the real reason <em>why<em> she was the way she was. It was when she stopped smiling that he noticed. Physically, she was completely the same: beautiful, always smiling, and always winning. But he could tell that she wasn't smiling on the inside, and for a long time he wondered why no one said anything about it. Then it came to him: no one knew but him. He slowly began to piece together the times when she'd disappear for "training" on days end and how she'd come back breathlessly radiant. How she looked at N at the final battle and how he didn't understand why her expression was so sad. How N, even if she didn't realize it, had given up before the battle had even began.

Cheren didn't hate him, though. He wished he would die in a bottomless pit in the depths of Hell, but he didn't _hate_ him.

He and Touko spent a lot of time together, now. They went to cafés, walked around the mall, talked more often. But he couldn't make her _happy_ again. No matter how many gifts he bought her, no matter how many shoulders he surrendered to her tears, he felt hopeless that he could never comfort her in her time of heartbreak. And then she did it: kissed him, right in the middle of the mall. He didn't understand it, but something sang inside of him. Even if he knew it might not even be love or even attraction doing it, the fact that she was willing to do something besides cry and fake her smiles was enough.

Well, that doesn't mean he didn't _like _the kiss...

Her face was still sad when she broke away from him, but she was smiling a little. Just a little. She took his hand and pressed her face in his shoulder and cried again, and Cheren was okay with that. He just wrapped his arm around her waist and smiled to himself. Maybe he was selfish. He wasn't taking advantage of her, but he shouldn't be so happy about it. But... he was.


End file.
